As I sit here staring down at my growing stomach, I realize my belly button is disappearing. I’m at 19 weeks and it’s just starting to hit me that there is a baby in there. I haven’t felt any movement although at times I have sharp growing pains but the fact my belly button is soon to be an outie has made it all real to me that something is in there. Then it hits me, I’m going to be a mother. But I question if I’m going to be a good mother. There is so much responsibility with becoming a parent and how does one person know they are ready or even able to take on such a task? I do have a great mother as an example but I wonder sometimes how she did it. I think the uneasiness of all of this comes from the fact that I’ve never experienced this before. Not the pregnancy, caring for a newborn or the giving birth experience. It makes me nervous to say the least.
One thing about me that I’m trying to let go of is the fact that I don’t like to fail. It’s probably one of my biggest flaws. When I do fail, I also don’t always handle it the best way. And that is where I thank God everyday for Andy. He helps me through these situations. He reassures me that because of this one instance where I’ve failed does not make me a failure. I’ve learned that as long as you try, you will succeed, whether it’s succeeding at that specific task or the success that comes from learning a lesson. And that’s what I keep telling myself through this pregnancy, just do your best and God will take care of you. I do put my trust in the Lord and I know that everything will be ok.
So today I’m mid way through week 19 (and about midway through this pregnancy). We have our anatomy ultrasound this coming Thursday and we are so excited! Other than hearing the baby’s heart beat and my ultrasound at 6 weeks where the baby was smaller than a peanut, we haven’t had any other measurements or glimpses of the baby. I’m ready to start feeling little baby Whipp inside me move. I’ve come to the conclusion that the baby takes after his dad and loves loves loves to sleep and that’s why I haven’t felt anything. This is the ultrasound where we could find out the sex of the baby but after recent discussions, Andy and I decided to not find out the sex until our little bundle takes it’s first breath in December. I know it’s going to drive some people crazy but our parents both agreed that it is more exciting not finding out beforehand so we’ve decided to take their advice and wait. I mean, we waited 19 weeks already, what’s another 19.
So to preoccupy all those wondering minds about the sex of the baby, here is my 19 week photo.
As for craving, nothing specific but if I have the choice of spicy or mild, bring on the spiciness. In fact, there have been two instances in the past week alone where Andy and I have gone to eat dinner at the Holy Grail and both times I ordered spicy garlic wings and I think Andy was a little disgusted when at the end I was practically drinking the spicy sauce. I also have been craving popscicles. Some days it’s so bad that I can’t remember how many I actually have had in one day. However, some days I don’t know who has had more, Andy or I.
So there it is, a small recap of feelings, emotions and cravings for the last 5 weeks.